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Joke of the Day

"I dig my own Grave. Adds Inter-ior designer to Resume."

"[first date] I'm really nervous about this. It's been a long time since I've [holds fork up and squints] used silverware."

"How do you cure depression? A gun."

"Who's great at math, but always tells lies? Fibonacci"

"Why are fish so thin? Because they eat fish!"

"What did the bee say to the flower ? Hello honey !"

"Answering your cell when you don't recognize the number is basically like picking up a hitchhiker. You're probs gonna die."

"I have a fantasy that a big strong man shows up at my door, comes in unannounced & slowly, quietly & methodically renovates my bathroom"

"Guy walks into a bar and asks for a ""Lindsay Lohan shot""... Bartender asks ""What is that?"" He replies with ""Oh you know, A redheaded-slut with a splash of coke."""

"A mushroom walks into a bar The bartender says: ""Get out of here! We don't serve your kind here."" The mushroom says: ""Why not man? I really am a FunGi."""