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Joke of the Day

"[first date] I'm really nervous about this. It's been a long time since I've [holds fork up and squints] used silverware."

"People say drugs are bad, but I'm calling complete BS on that. I've only been on meth for 20 minutes and I'm already the king of Jupiter."

"Weather man said all you need today is sunglasses and sunscreen but I think I'll put some clothes on too."

"Whats a Joke with no Punchline? Life"

"A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar The bartender says ""What is this, some kind of joke?"""

"Why don't gay necrophiles like to talk about their pasts? Too many skeletons in their closets."

"My friend told me that recycling is good for the environment Not on Reddit, apparently. I got downvoted a lot..."

"Went on ChristianMingle .com and kept asking myself, ""Who Would Jesus Do""?"

"what was Michael Jackson favorite kind of movie child pornography"

"It's not fair how teenagers today can avoid social interaction with family by staring at their phones I had to show my contempt by grunting"