41156

Joke of the Day

"Dude, the fact that I called YOU to bail me out of jail is quite the compliment, so let's dial back that ""It's 4 am!"" attitude, mmkay?"

"How do you make Obama's eyes light up? Shine a flashlight in his ear."

"THAT SH!T CRAY You can not underestimate the power of linguistic tracks. KANYE in my language means - go to shit."

"The twist in M. Night Shyamalan's next film is that it turns out to be a good movie."

"What emotion does a tree feel every spring? Relief"

"That awkward moment; when no one else is laughing, except for you and you can't stop."

"Behind every great man there's a great woman who can take whatever he just said and turn it into a great big fight"

"""Thanks for the clarification."" ~ Melted butter"

"Why does OSHA hate porn? It's nsfw"

"I can't believe it. I saw on the news where a midget got pick pocketed in broad daylight...how could anyone stoop so low?"