145914

Joke of the Day

"I can't believe it. I saw on the news where a midget got pick pocketed in broad daylight...how could anyone stoop so low?"

"Amazing how much ""self-help"" advice never gets to the part where you cowboy up and learn how to actually help yourself. By yourself."

"I like to wear Grocery store uniforms and tell homeless people that I'm there to repo the shopping cart."

"What did the spanish teacher say to his one student, who was a member of the cartel? Where is my essay?"

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None. Who needs light bulbs under a glass ceiling?"

"I hate that random song you hear in the morning and gets stuck in your head all day long."

"what do you call a duck addicted to drugs ? A quack head"

"Did you hear that Elon Musk announced plans for a restaurant on the moon? He said we can count on good food but no atmosphere."

"A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, Keep off the Grass.'"

"Q: What kind of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic? A: Iceberg."