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Joke of the Day

"The twist in M. Night Shyamalan's next film is that it turns out to be a good movie."

"Terry wogans head stene is to be left blankity blank"

"My girl friend is a sex object. When I ask for sex, she objects."

"What do you call an environmental bicyclist? A recyclist."

"How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know the exact number, but many Hans make light work."

"""I make everything sad, but I'll class your shit up."" - Violins"

"what do you call a vampire that sucks mucus instead of blood? nose-feratu!"

"Friend apologizes for mess. Friend has immaculate house. Open her closet. Out comes 78 books, a piano and a gentleman squirrel in a top hat."

"*knock knock* ""Sir, this is the police, open the door immediately"" ""But I'm having a poo"" ""We know sir, the phone box has glass sides"""

"My girlfriend said I should be more Romantic... She didn't like my toga but the orgy was great!"