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Joke of the Day

"I just put too much cream in my coffee. This is the worst Good Friday ever."

"How long does a dog's bark last? **Ruff**ly a second."

"The militia had killed my entire family and left me for dead. Thank God for Buzzfeed's 17 Pictures That Will Restore Your Faith In Humanity."

"Happy Mothers Day to all of the moms out there! Scared you didn't I?"

"I once knew an Asian lady with one leg... Her name was Irene."

"I had a big mix up at the store today. Apparently when the clerk said strip down facing me, she was referring to my credit card."

"I always wink at the local Funeral Director, because he will be the last one to see me naked, and I don't want it to be awkward."

"I enjoy quaint, old-fashioned customs like being nice to people."

"TIFU by having unprotected sex. I thought the STD was standard."

"Taco Bell wouldn't be so popular if indoor plumbing didn't exist"