2693

Joke of the Day

"I always wink at the local Funeral Director, because he will be the last one to see me naked, and I don't want it to be awkward."

"What did the man say when he realized the boy who asked him out was an orphan? No home oh"

"What did the pencil say to the sharpener? Stop going in circles and get to the point."

"Why don't seagulls fly over bays? because then they'd be called bagels!"

"Reports just in that the police have seized a Catholic Priest's computer. They claim that they are looking for a certain file. A .PDO file if you will."

"What do Cooperstown and Woodstock have in common? Cooperstown is where Baseball wasn't invented and Woodstock is where the festival didn't happen."

"How is being a middle manager like being stuck in a tree full of monkeys? Whenever you look down, all you see is grinning faces. Whenever you look up, all you see is assholes."

"What flavor is the milkshake? How far away is the yard? How could you know its better than mine? You seem, frankly, a bit overconfident."

"[their last appetizer] Her: I don't want it. You have it. Him: I don't want it either, you... Me: *reaches onto their table and takes it"

"The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less."