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Joke of the Day

"A coworker wouldn't stop bragging about her upcoming trip to Hawaii, so I emailed her a bunch of pictures of plane crashes."

"Why are feminists so good at Street Fighter V? Because they are always V-triggered"

"I'll do you like I do my homework... For two minutes."

"Went to the doctors and told him l was suffering from premature ejaculation. He asked how does your wife feel about it? I said she took it on the chin the first time but now its getting on her tits..."

"Office fun: replace your coworker's mouse with a larger mouse so he thinks his hands are shrinking then call him ""baby hands"" until he quits"

"Rules for being a good neighbor: 1. MIND YOUR OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS 2. Don't forget rule number one."

"My staircase was getting a lot of buzz, then it blew up It's gone spiral"

"Some friends of mine recently lost their baby. They swore to never dress him in camouflage again if he turns up."

"""That's me in a nutshell."" A peanut's photo album."

"Once you've seen one shopping centre... ...you've seen a mall"