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Joke of the Day

"Went to the doctors and told him l was suffering from premature ejaculation. He asked how does your wife feel about it? I said she took it on the chin the first time but now its getting on her tits..."

"If a tree falls down in the woods... But nobody is around to hear it. Does a hipster still buy the album?"

"Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field."

"I entered Reddit's pun contest.... .... I submitted ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would get an upvote. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did."

"Why do sailors use liquid soap? It takes longer to pick up when they drop it."

"What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Bill Cosby? One is still dicking bimbos while the other was dicking still bimbos."

"Why can't a bike stand on its own ? Because it's two tired."

"Q. How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? A. Hell you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant."

"Do you know who Candice is?? Candice who?? Candice dick fit in your mouth??"

"What do you call a crisis where you're the same before and after? An identity crisis!"