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Joke of the Day
"""That's me in a nutshell."" A peanut's photo album."
Next Joke
"Leo and Matt Damon are talking..... Leo:wanna hear a joke? Matt: sure Leo:OSCAR! Matt: i did'nt get it Leo:EXACTLY"
"What do you get when you cross Christmas and a Duck? A Christmas-Quacker!"
"When is there two Ds in ""her?"" http://imgur.com/Rmc4pha"
"Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He ate his food before it was cool"
"[trapped under avalanche of Tupperware that fell on me from kitchen cabinet] *updates social media with selfie* Bring food, No weirdos."
"Got fast food so many times this week that when mcd's asked me to pull out front to wait for my order, I was expecting an intervention."
"I've already received over 150 RSVPs to my Halloween Shindig... It's going to be a Monster Party."
"Two men walk into a bar.. The first man says I'll have an H20 The second man says I'll have an H20 too, the second man dies."
"What's the difference between Brussel sprouts and snot? .. Kids don't eat Brussel sprouts !"