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Joke of the Day
"I'll do you like I do my homework... For two minutes."
Next Joke
"Coworker: GOOD MORNING! Me: Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee Coworker: But you don't drink coffee Me: Exactly"
"I would never skydive. http://i.imgur.com/uRJyOmB.png"
"Life is a lot line piano lessons. Because my mom forced me into it and expects me to try my best even though she knows I fucking hate the piano."
"My friend David lost his ID the other day Now we just call him dav"
"Why are LED's a good investment? Because they always diode."
"drinking english beer is like having sex on a boat fucking close to water"
"What do you do if you accidentally cut off your cat's tail? Take him to WalMart. They are the largest retailer in the world."
"When walking behind someone at night, let them know you're not dangerous by yelling ""DO NOT FEAR ME"" very loudly"
"What did the black holes say when they collided? Nothing, they just waved. (Sorry)"