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Joke of the Day

"either my xbox is broken, or it wants to get married and start a family... because it's done playing games with me."

"Cat: I think i have a rash. Doctor Dog: WE SHOULD AMPUTATE YOUR HEAD"

"Petting my dog with a spatula cause I'm too lazy to reach and he is too lazy to move closer Why is there a spatula in my room?"

"I told my boss 3 companies were after me and I needed a raise to stay at my present job. He asked which 3 were interested. I said the gas, electric and cable."

"How can you tell if somebody's run a marathon? Wait 15 seconds, they'll tell you."

"I just misspelled a word so bad that auto correct blew milk out its nose."

"All my life, I've wanted to learn how to juggle... But I never had the balls to try"

"Why did the ghost go into the elevator? To lift his spirits."

"They're a pack of lions He's some guy who hates lions Together, they're: PRIDE AND PREJUDICE This fall on CBS"

"Puppies and books Easy to pick one but very difficult put down!"