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Joke of the Day

"either my xbox is broken, or it wants to get married and start a family... because it's done playing games with me."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cork ! Cork who ? Cork and beans !"

"I know Muslims can't eat pork. Islam ok though?"

"Do a little dance... Drink a lot of rum... Fall down tonight..."

"phlegm I used to work in a seafood restaurant where my specialty was clam chowder. I got fired when I got over my cold"

"[dog park] Go get it, boy! *dog returns with silver watch, silver bracelet & silver necklace* Ugh, you're the worst golden retriever ever"

"[interviewer looks up from resume] in the skills, you wrote ""completing sentences? Yes."" wow. you ""'re hired?"" amaz- ""on prime?"" get out."

"Why did the french chef go to the police? Escargot stolen."

"Justin Timberlake postponing his Buffalo show Sat. & then going on Fallon is like that time I called in sick & tweeted a selfie on a boat."

"A guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, ""Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes..."""