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Joke of the Day

"They're a pack of lions He's some guy who hates lions Together, they're: PRIDE AND PREJUDICE This fall on CBS"

"(First date) Me: Don't let her know you're a satanist Her: So what do you do for fun? Me: WHATEVER THE DARK LORD COMMANDS"

"What do you call the North Korean dictator? Seouless"

"What do you do when a bird shits on your windshield? Don't take her on a second date."

"""Was this car tested on animals?"" ""sir animals can't drive"" ""will this car enable animals to drive?"" ""No"" ""SO YOU DID TEST IT!"" ""god damnit"""

"If Royce Da 5'9 gave up his career in rapping.. He'd become Royce Da 9-5. ^^^^Mixed ^^^^up ^^^^the ^^^^numbers ^^^^last ^^^^time."

"Why was the cannibal fined by the judge? He was caught poaching."

"There are tons of girls in my software engineering class... ...just not very many of them."

"The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you'd almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds I have no shame..."

"What's the difference between a Surrey girl and a washing machine? When you drop a load in a washing machine it doesn't text you every hour for a week."