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Joke of the Day

"I told my boss 3 companies were after me and I needed a raise to stay at my present job. He asked which 3 were interested. I said the gas, electric and cable."

Next Joke
 
"""Want to parachute?"" ""No thanks, I'd rather not maybe die while strapped to a guy I met twenty minutes ago."""
"The prequel to 16 & Pregnant could be called ""15 & Fully Trusted By Her Parents to Make Good Decisions, We Love You Brittani."""
"[USPS] M: *hands change of address form* C: Ma'am, this just says ""bathtub."" M: I live there now. C: We can't send mail to a bathtub. M: Yay"
"How do you make $3 million in 48 seconds? Ask Ronda Rousey!"
"a dog pisses on an ant... and the ant says ""hey watch it!"" and the dog says ""i don't have a watch"""
"Ran out of time At work today a coworker said to me... Coworker: I was goin to make a smoothie for breakfast but I ran out of time . Me: You put thyme in your smoothie ?! ."
"9/11 Never Forget About Dre."
"I love dead baby jokes They never get old"
"Of course this is my real personality. Who the hell would fake THIS?"