153292

Joke of the Day

"Petting my dog with a spatula cause I'm too lazy to reach and he is too lazy to move closer Why is there a spatula in my room?"

"What do Jewish kids say to their Christian friends at Christmas? Sorry we killed your saviour, can we play with his new toys."

"*getting murdered* Oh, wow, this is totally clearing my sinuses"

"There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down, he sneered at me and I thought, well that's a little condescending."

"Live without pretending, Love without depending, Listen without defending, Speak without offending "

"When I see ads on TV with smiling, happy housewives using a new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds they must be on."

"My favorite drawings at the Mohammad cartoon festival in Texas... were the two chalk outlines out front."

"What is the wettest animal in the forest? The raindeer."

"What does a vampire on a diet drink? Blood Lite Thanks Jim Butcher..."

"California a maltese dog cost around $1000, You can buy the same dog in Vietnam for 5 dollars and it includes a side of fries and a drink."