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Joke of the Day

"Pele sees a pretty woman at a bar. He approaches her and says ""You're very pretty. Fancy coming back to my place?"" The woman says ""My, you're a little forward."""

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"Why did the girl walk past her crush twice? He didn't believe in love at first sight."
"Romeo: Your cheeks are like petals. Juliet: Really? Romeo: Yes bicycle pedals."
"I don't like how far I have to scroll down when I enter my birth year online."
"Enjoy dogs while you can. One day they're going to evolve opposable thumbs and open all of our cupboards and shit"
"""Relax. It's not a competition."" ""Right. That's what I say."" ""But I said it first."""
"What kind of tea do you pay an arm and a leg for? Amputee"
"Are you the energizer bunny cause you just keep going and going through my mind."
"I went to the premature ejaculation clinic today. They told me my appointment isn't until tomorrow."
"A cow fell off a truck in Russia Apparently he hadn't been Put in properly."