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Joke of the Day

"How are a hobo and a balloon alike? Both are without visible means of support. (My son found that in a children's joke book)"

"My car, spinning uncontrollably thru a crowd of ppl, & my Korean friend screams""HIT THE BLAKES"" & I'm like""I CANT BE THAT SELECTIVE"""

"Some dude was bragging about his brother being a navy seal and it's like...I don't care what colour he is, why is your brother a seal"

"You can't trust a mule with an important task. They'll just half-ass it."

"The only drinking problem I have is not having enough money to keep buying it."

"just found out today that monkeys don't lay eggs. so what have i been buying on craigslist. what have i been eating"

"HIM: isn't wintertime just so romantic ME (smiles & my lips crack open & blood starts pouring down my chin): oh definitely"

"Jenny McCarthy was wearing a jacket and gloves in Time Square on New Years Eve. I didn't know she believes in the theory of weather."

"There's a fire at a trick birthday candle plant. Firefighters have been battling the blaze on and off for 5 days."

"Why do irish fried beans only have 239 beans? Because the extra bean would be too farty."