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Joke of the Day

"Enjoy dogs while you can. One day they're going to evolve opposable thumbs and open all of our cupboards and shit"

"What's the difference between a priest and acne? Acne usually waits until you're 13 before coming on your face."

"I put the 'extra vag' in extravaganza"

"I've been getting way too deep into the Prague Surrealist movement lately. I think I need a Reality Czech."

"I told this guy I was arguing with if he stepped one more step closer I would hit him in the face, but he kept walking right to me. I guess he didn't understand the punchline."

"There are smart men, handsome men, rich men, sexy men and sweet men and then there is the combination of all. We call that one a ""unicorn"""

"I poured my root beer into a square cup Now I just have beer"

"What do rocket scientists say about a task that is relatively easy? It's no social skills!"

"So my friend is dating twins... ...And I said, ""Isn't it hard to tell them appart?"" He replied with, ""Well not really, the brother has a moustache."""

"What did the Jihadist say when he had explosive Diarrhea? ALLAHPOO AKBAR!"