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Joke of the Day

"How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw it almost all the way in and one to give it a surprising twist at the end."

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a DM."

"You look like the type of person who would try to write a check for a drug deal."

"What America thinks of Donald Trump is what the world thinks of America."

"I can't go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes"

"Why do engineers work out a lot? They're obsessed with rigid bodies!"

"Why were the Libyans eating money? They were having dinar."

"My neighbour knocked on my door this morning at 2:30 am. 2:30! Luckily I was still up playing my drums."

"If I say ""I don't know, let me look"", I'm really just spinning around in my chair a few times while you're on hold."

"remember when u found out the french word for seal was phoque and u were like this is the best day of my phoquing life"