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Joke of the Day

"*helps wife get toddler in his high chair* wife: That's a new shirt, let's put a bib on you me [wearing a bib] This is ridiculous"

"What do you get when you order a JFK? An americano with an extra shot"

"Did hear about the explosion at the Kosher bread factory in Berlin? It was a challahcaust."

"Brain problem On the left side, there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left."

"[First day as hitman] ME: Don't worry boss, I'll deal with him accordionly. BOSS: Wait, you mean accordingly? ME: *hides accordion* yes."

"What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One's a Fe-Male, and the other's a woman in a power suit."

"What is better than getting a N64 on Christmas? Getting a N64 now"

"I remember back when I had to charge my Nokia 8210 once every 96 days. My iPhone lost 4% just typing this tweet."

"Yo momma cooks so bad... The flys all chipped in and fixed the screen door. >we're here all night, don't forget to tip your waiter!!"

"Squirrels are just rats who blow dry their tails."