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Joke of the Day
"Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was out standing in his field"
Next Joke
"women tend to make bad decisions when they're around me... if they chose me instead it would be the best decision of their lives!"
"What happens when you turn on a computer? You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk"
"I'm not usually vengeful, but when I am it's because someone gave my kid a whistle."
"Today seems like the perfect day to make important life altering decisions! - Me, when I've gone two days without sleep"
"My wife tells me she wants me to surprise her with a gift that will take her breath away. I'm thinking about getting her a treadmill."
"Why don't nuns fear getting raped? Because they know it is tough to get into the habit."
"What did Jesus say to the flock of sheep? I herd that."
"How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? Staple a piece of bread on the ceiling"
"If I'm in a public bathroom and someone else in that same bathroom is on the phone and states that they are ANYWHERE ELSE, I flush my toilet"