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Joke of the Day

"The boomerang is Australia's chief export (and then import)"

"I have pet snakes, turtles, and lizards. They are a family but I think they hate each other. I think I have A reptile disfunction."

"Why is Santa so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls are."

"What did Tony Abbott do when he heard Denmark had surplus wind power ? Cut funding for wind power in Australia"

"If you're an adult and you aren't tired, you probably just fell asleep and started dreaming. Wake up. It's time to be tired again."

"The sausage principle. If you like something, never find out how it's made."

"What dog can you only find on the beach? A cockle spaniel!"

"Who thought blowing out candles on a cake was a good tradition? Ah yes; wax would go well with this cake and you know what else? Child spit."

"A calculus lecture at a college Only four students are present. Suddenly six students get up and leave the auditorium. The professor thinks: ""If two more come in, there will be no one left!"""

"Q: What's gray and comes in pints? A: An elephant."