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Joke of the Day

"Why don't nuns fear getting raped? Because they know it is tough to get into the habit."

"What did 0 say to 1? You're turning me on"

"If you wear a cape to a meal, you can spin it around to the front and have a full sized bib for eating"

"Bad news is I'm not fluent in Starbucks. Good news is I ordered a skinny Latin, and Marc Anthony is a real sweetheart."

"Today is World Alzheimer's Day! Just in case you forgot."

"I have the body of a god. Too bad that god is Buddha."

"What do you call someone who is really good at fishing? A master-baiter"

"[couch shopping] Wife: Eh, you married to it? *a bead of sweat trickles down my brow as I hope she doesn't notices the couch's wedding ring*"

"Why did Constantinople fall? Itstumbled."

"""Expose yourself to Art"" they said ""Art will tase you and call the cops on you"" they didn't say"