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Joke of the Day

"I'm not usually vengeful, but when I am it's because someone gave my kid a whistle."

"How can you tell if a black girl is pregnant? You stick a chicken wing up her vagina and it comes out clean."

"Advice for all girls: You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. But you catch the most flies with corpses."

"What's the joke where the punchline is 'thats the punch-line' ? This is no joke."

"Why are homosexuals always happy? Cause they're gay (happy)."

"Dear Cool People, they didn't name a candy after you, did they? Love, Nerds."

"Ugh, I'm still writing 2009 on all my ransom notes"

"What is red and bad for your teeth? A Brick."

"[PRESS CONFERENCE] Me: I'm going on the record. Yes, I'd go back in time to kill a baby Reporter: you mean Baby Hitler? Me: sure, whoever"

"Early bird gets the worm 2nd mouse gets the cheese 3rd cow gets the grass All cows get to eat grass tho, theres not really a low supply."