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Joke of the Day

"Today seems like the perfect day to make important life altering decisions! - Me, when I've gone two days without sleep"

"DOG 911: what's the emergency? DOG: a boy threw a ball but I can't find it DOG 911: did u check his hand? DOG: of course I checked hiDAMMIT"

"How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer? There's whiteout on the screen."

"I just put the L earbud in my right ear and the R in my left ear and every punchline I came up with for this joke sucked ass."

"How do you know that Adam and Eve were white? Have you ever tried taking a rib from a black man?"

"My girlfriend calls me the gas station... Because I have 6-10 pumps."

"Why is North America so salty? Because its Na."

"People on this plane got so uptight when I used the bathroom to change into my PJs. Llike they've never seen a man in a nightgown before."

"So I had this idea to make money by selling bottled bottles ...It made no cents"

"When the female lead of Pirates of the Caribbean visits Japan... Do you think she has a Kirin nightly?"