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Joke of the Day

"It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens."

"What is moist, smells great, and is for dinner tonight? My poop"

"An accountant who disappears with all his client's money is a math magician."

"Customer: Waiter I found a hair in my turtle soup. Waiter: How about that! The turtle and the hare finally got together."

"Sometimes I ponder over things like, -What is life? -Where am I going? & -What the hell is a ""spokes"" person for a bike company called?"

"Saying ""I enjoy porn"" is considerably less creepy than saying ""I enjoy watching complete strangers have sex in highly unlikely situations."""

"Personal trainer: So what's your goal? Me: I wanna look good in pictures that I'm not the one taking"

"If The Lego Movie is about anything other than parents walking around and cursing after stepping on Legos, it's not based on a true story."

"I got expelled from school on pajama day. It's not my fault I sleep naked."

"What do you call 40 mexicans standing in your yard holding hands? Spicket fence."