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Joke of the Day

"I got expelled from school on pajama day. It's not my fault I sleep naked."

"A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street... A small child walks out of an arcade. The priest turns to the rabbi and says ""Let's fuck him!"" the rabbi turns and says ""Out of what?"""

"How did Moses part the Red Sea? He used a Sea-saw."

"my dishwasher stopped working.. i heard sometimes you just have to give em a good kick, and they'll start right up again so i tried that, then she dumped me"

"how many millennials does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Enough to protest until the government does it for them"

"The moral of ""The Three Little Pigs"" is ""make your house with bricks."" Why are we giving four year olds architectural advice?"

"I bought a dog from a blacksmith ..... As soon as I got him home, he made a bolt for the door."

"A B C D E F G H I J... 10 letters"

"A Mexican kid passes a note to his friend in class. ""What do you think you're doing?"" the observant teacher asks. To which he replies... ""writing an ese"""

"I called in to work and asked my boss what the difference between work and his daughter was. I'm not coming into work this morning."