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Joke of the Day
"""Alcohol doesn't affect me"" *Wakes up with cornrows, a light saber and two taxidermy lizards*"
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station, and one's a busty crustacean."
"I'm so sick and tired of my friends who can't handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me 3x while carrying me to the car!"
"Might buy a junkyard just to grow my own junk food."
"What is Bruce Lee's Favourite Drink? WOTAHHHHHH"
"Did you know that pigeons die after they have sex? At least the one I fucked did."
"Don't apologize because you haven't tweeted in a while. No one cared."
"Chicken stock has gone up today, but only by a poultry sum."
"Where do computer scientists go to have a drink? To the foobar."
"Now's a good time to change your facebook name to ""Nobody,"" so when you click like on ignorant statuses it says, ""Nobody likes this."""