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Joke of the Day

"Outside, contemplating life, love, and happiness and if I should tell the neighbor that his kid has been stuck in a tree for three hours."

"*Draws happy eyebrows on my dog*"

"If vid games answered back in real time they'd move lots more units I DIED? BULLSHIT! ""Maybe if you didn't suck.."" *slams x-box on floor*"

"""Sensitive"" guys who only retweet chicks, you're not fooling anyone."

"Is it any wonder men have been obsessed with sex since biblical times? After all, Adam was ribbed for his own pleasure"

"I'm not saying women are smarter than men, but its kinda ironic that there's so few known women serial killers and so many unsolved murders."

"My doctor just told me I have Parkinson's... ...I'm pretty shaken up about it."

"I'm pretty great with money. Folks keep calling me and telling me my accounts are outstanding."

"I went to a Zoo last week.... It had no animals there apart from one little dog!!!! It was a Shih Tzu"

"I'm trying to get on your good side, but I haven't found it yet."