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Joke of the Day

"I'm so sick and tired of my friends who can't handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me 3x while carrying me to the car!"

"If I ever get a llama, I'm totally naming it Dalai."

"American Fat Man Falls... ...Levels Japanese City."

"This coffee is so strong it just raised 5 children on a nurse's salary."

"The judge told me I might get capital punishment for my crimes, and asked me if I knew what it meant.. I didn't, so I told him to use it in a sentence."

"What did the Palestinians do to honour Yasser Arafat when he died? They gave him a 21 stone salute!"

"Guy in USA:(phone) you ready? Guy in Australia: (phone) hell yeah Both:123 *each drop a piece of bread onto ground* Both: EARTH SANDWICH!"

"Anyone who says the bee movie is racist is wrong... I think they mention black and yellow about a trillion fucking times."

"Knock Knock... Who's there? I, diddup I, diddup who? You filthy bastard"

"what do you call a fish with no eye? Fush"