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Joke of the Day

"My 10 yr old thinks I expect too much out of her. I told her we could discuss it when she gets home from work."

"If a Christian rock band had a Gibson, they could be called ""The Five Gospels, Les Paul."" ^"

"Why do Jews Brag About How Great Their Children Are? Because they don't win traditional dick measuring contests."

"bad ""it's so hot...."" one-liners Two that I came up with... It's so hot that Stryper sang ""To Today With the Devil"" It's so hot that Karen Carpenter ate an ice cream sandwich. your turn!"

"Theres plenty of fish in the sea. Theres loads of trash at the dump. Theres tons of bones in a skeleton. Bugs are everywhere."

"[waffle house] Waitress: how do u like your eggs Me: hatched and with their families W: no how do u like them cooked M: [spits out coffee]"

"How do you crack a joke on r/Jokes? ctrl+v."

"My greatest fear on Monday is greeting someone and asking someone how their weekend went and they actually telling me every mundane details about it."

"One time I was holding this little girl's hand walking through the woods at night. She said: ""I'm scared!"" I said:"" Well then how do you think I feel? I gotta walk back alone!"""

"Top 4 horrified face expressions: 4. dragged away by crocodile 3. stabbed by serial killer 2. mauled by bear 1. no toilet paper"