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Joke of the Day

"bad ""it's so hot...."" one-liners Two that I came up with... It's so hot that Stryper sang ""To Today With the Devil"" It's so hot that Karen Carpenter ate an ice cream sandwich. your turn!"

"The life of a Dick. A dick has a sad life. His hair is a mess; his family is nuts; his next-door neighbor is an asshole; his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him habitually."

"Why did the string theorist return his vacuum cleaner It was only the standard model"

"The other day I went to the doctors office. The doctor said to me, ""You've got to stop masturbating."" I replied, ""What? Why?"" The doctor answered, ""So I can examine you."""

"Cops are raiding Justin Bieber's house looking for eggs. Seriously. Eggs. I can't make this shit up. This is why other countries hate us."

"When I was 18, I wanted to buy a brand new motorbike, but my mother forbid it. She explained that she had a brother who died in a motorbike crash when he was 18, and so I could have his instead."

"What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste."

"The worst part of locking your keys in your car What's the worst part of locking your keys in the car by the abortion clinic? Having to go inside and ask to borrow a coat hanger"

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? You're a fucking rapist."

"Parachute for sale: Used once. Never opened."