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Joke of the Day

"One time I was holding this little girl's hand walking through the woods at night. She said: ""I'm scared!"" I said:"" Well then how do you think I feel? I gotta walk back alone!"""

"I hate when I'm beating my grandma in Mario Kart and she kicks the controller out my hands."

"A recent study shows that Twitter users don't give a fuck in excess of 30 times a day."

"A woman told me I seem like I ""need a blowjob,"" which has all the insight of a psychic telling a crowd ""someone here has lost a loved one."""

"I think I found the cure for gonorrhea It was at the bottom of my wifes handbag."

"What do you call an unpredictable, out-of-control photographer? A loose Canon."

"The Ultimate Spoiler You all die in the end."

"Stupid cats, can't even YOLO"

"I just found out that those cows from the Chick-Fil-A commercials teach black people how to text."

"Jokes . . . . I need some jokes to crack my ultra resistant friends, Please Help! P.S I don't care whether they are rude or not."