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Joke of the Day

"Reporter got asked about any survivors of a plane crash & said 'its up in the air'. Dude if it was up in the air we wouldn't be in this mess"

"Why do they call it Black Friday? Because the prices are so good you are practically stealing."

"Refusing to go to the gym counts as resistance training, right?"

"What does a Mexican cut a pizza with? Little ceasars!!! (Scissors)"

"A hunter brings a bear into his own home. His friend asks if he's crazy, and the hunter responds ""Just bear with me"""

"What can you say about a car and not a girl/your gf? It's easy to turn on, and even though it's eleven, I still love her."

"When a woman says ""I can't even tell you how upset I am right now"" just wait 3 seconds."

"I'm developing an app that makes a cricket sound effect at the end of my coworkers' stories."

"They say kill 'em with kindness but it's much quicker if you just take their phone charger away."

"What's the difference between amnesia and alzheimers? I can't remember."