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Joke of the Day

"What's Thom Yorke's reddit? /u/KarmaPuhlease"

"Boy calls911 Boy calls 911. Boy: Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning."

"Did you hear about the Indian man who was recently employed as a comedian? He got a punjabi."

"I did a striptease for my wife but it didn't go well. I got my shirt stuck on my head, and by the time I got it off, she had left the room."

"Don't try this at home. If homeless, go for it!"

"""Cellphones only work when you talk into them like you're trying to be heard over a buzzsaw screwing a freight train."" - My Dad"

"Two atoms walk into a bar... One says, ""Oh no, I've lost an electron."" The other asks, ""Are you sure?"" ""Yeah, I'm positive!"""

"Some elements walk into a bar... Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfer, sodium, and phosphorus all walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""OH SNaP!"""

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking. jk, rolling."

"What did the King say to the pawn shop owner you are my pawn go fight for me but in a line no moving around."