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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a search for small guitars? Uke hunt!"

"Did you hear the one about the perverted statistician? He couldn't get off on the standard deviation"

"What is a Jedi's Favorite Italian Dessert? Obi-Wan....Cannoli!"

"I don't like being told what to do unless I'm naked."

"What did Moses say when Isaiah told him the levy had burst? God Dam It!"

"What's worse, ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care."

"Me: I love you! Girlfriend: Is that you, or the vodka talking? Me: It's me...talking to the vodka."

"I just want to be important enough that someone unexpectedly puts a cup of coffee in my hand, which I gratefully accept with only a nod."

"So Rene points to Gorgias in the schoolyard and says, ""you're a stupid solipsist..."". ...and Gorgias says, ""I know you are but what I am."""

"A Teacher asked for the chemical formula for water Teacher: Alright so what is the chemical formula for water? Me: HIJKLMNO Teacher: What are you even saying?! Me: You told us it was H to O!"