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Joke of the Day

"What's worse, ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care."

"My favorite part of the date is when I tell her that I want her to have my kids. And then I give them to her, all 3 of them."

"My roommate said I might be schizophrenic. But what does he know I don't even have a roommate."

"Please boss, tell us again how important it is the company gets to $3 billion in revenue. I bought an 18 pack of beer with dimes last night."

"I took your girlfriend out for some Chipotle last week...... guacamole wasn't the only thing she wanted extra on the side."

"I wonder if skunks ever think, ""why do I smell like a pound of weed?"""

"I heard today that Stevie Wonder was getting a divorce, so sad he didn't even see it coming."

"Did you hear about Mike Tyson's opinion on ears? He had some biting commentary on the matter."

"This homeless man was shaking his cup at me with some change in it. Yeah i get it, you have more money than me. Quit it."

"If pigs really could fly I bet their wings would taste delicious."