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Joke of the Day

"So Rene points to Gorgias in the schoolyard and says, ""you're a stupid solipsist..."". ...and Gorgias says, ""I know you are but what I am."""

"Why was Adele underneath a cow? So she could say ""hello from the udder side"""

"How does a Rabbi make tea? Hebrews it."

"What do Intel, Google, Uber, eBay, McDonalds, Budweiser, AT&T, Oracle, Disney, Boeing, IBM and Apple have in common? Immigrants"

"All I wanna do is *gun shot gun shot gun shot* and *cash register noise* get off Sound Effect Island"

"[parent/teacher meeting] ""you must've read to him as a baby"" *leans forward in little desk* lady, I didn't even know him when I was a baby"

"It's 364 days until Christmas And people already have their lights up!"

"I drank too much water I'm going to pee for it later."

"What's grey and never needs ironing ? A drip dry elephant !"

"Did you hear about that psychic dwarf that escaped from prison? They're a small medium at large"