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Joke of the Day

"If I don't make some serious changes to my life, they'll never let me into the gates of heaven. So who can teach me how to pick a lock?"

"What anime do Mexicans watch? Boku no Pico de Gallo"

"How many Black Lives Matters protesters does it take to change a light bulb? Don't be silly, Black Lives Matters protesters can't change anything."

"I'm bringing sexy back. Apparently there was a misunderstanding and I never should have been allowed to purchase it in the first place."

"I lost two bagels on a public bathroom floor. Now they're pissed."

"I just made the greatest construction-related pun of all time Works on so many levels"

"Q. What is the best way to get to Paradise? A. Turn right and go straight."

"What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast? Synonym Toast Crunch If you said Synonym Life, please leave."

"These Brock Turner jokes are really distasteful. Maybe they'd be okay if I was blackout drunk."

"Whenever somebody calls me ugly, I get super sad and want to hug them. I know life is tough for the visually impaired."