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Joke of the Day

"Whenever somebody calls me ugly, I get super sad and want to hug them. I know life is tough for the visually impaired."

"A friend of mine asked if I could give her the definition of a double entendre... so I gave it to her."

"""You can have sex with my sister over my dead body"" ""Umm, I appreciate the weird offer, but I'm just gonna do it in my car"""

"So ladies, Oscar Pistorius is single... and he is ..."

"1. Change last name to Crunch. 2. Join the military. 3. Work my way up to Captain. 4. Become Captain Crunch. 5. WIN LIFE"

"I like my car how I like my life. Duty free."

"A suicide bomber walks into a bar But he doesn't blow up, because it's an Allahu snack bar."

"When you're fast enough to be at two spots at the same time. *Fat"

"Chuck Norris is his own line at the DMV."

"The world's fastest boxer invited anyone to try to avoid his fists... There was no punchline."