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Joke of the Day

"""My anger began to flow through me like hot mountain sweat.."" Um, don't you mean ""Lava""? ""...like warm hill pee"""

"How is light beer like having sex in a canoe? They're both fucking close to water."

"What's a control freaks favorite macro? Control+U"

"What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? BANANAAAAA"

"""I'm supes scared & all alone & in my underwear. What's that noise in the basement? I should totes go check it out."" - Virgins tonight"

"Whenever I miss my ex I think about the things I didnt like about him... Like his hairy behind and his wife."

"What did the ghost give his girlfriend on Halloween? A ""booquet"" of flower."

"Looking at cows in a field, how can you tell which one's on holiday? It's the one with the wee calf. (Think Scottish)"

"What do you call a 100 year old frog ? An old croak !"

"FUN AT THE PARK Ordinarily, staring is creepy. But if you spread your attention across many individuals, then it's just people watching."