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Joke of the Day

"FUN AT THE PARK Ordinarily, staring is creepy. But if you spread your attention across many individuals, then it's just people watching."

"I named my son Gram It's short for Grammar because he was supposed to be a period."

"[1st day as judge] Murderer: [waves at me] Me [waves back]: He seems nice Lawyer: He killed six people Me: He probably didn't mean it"

"When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punch line becomes apparent"

"I like my coffee like I like my women... Hot, mocha, and overpriced. Prostitutes. I like prostitutes."

"what is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair"

"Two cowboys looking at the desert horizon and a bunch of indians appear coming towards them... -Are they enemies or friends? -They are obviosly friends, they are coming altogether."

"""I've been a bad girl,"" she said. ""I need to be punished."" So I installed Windows 10 on her laptop."

"You know, I frankly don't find Isaac Newton's work all that original. I mean, half of his works were all derivatives anyway."

"Having sex with children is fucking tight."