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Joke of the Day

"Can you smell mothballs? I can't. I can never get their legs far enough apart."

"I love going climbing with my friends... They never fail to let me down."

"I went SCUBA-diving and my equipment malfunctioned. I was so mad... ... it literally made my blood boil."

"It's that time of year when it gets *just* cold enough to draw dicks on people's car windows."

"Do you know what is heart warming? That even the most Orthodox Jew, and the cruelest of all the people of Al-Qaeda, will look for the same thing once they get down from a plane. A Synagogue."

"Gonna get ""na na na na na na na na"" tattooed on my forearm. I'll tell girls it's Hey Jude and I'll tell dudes it's the Batman theme."

"""As a student the most comforting words you'll ever hear are "" I haven't started either"""

"3 out of 4 people suffer from anxiety disorder. The 4th person enjoys it."

"I can't feel my face when I'm with you, but I love it. Doctor: This is your third Botox appointment. That wasn't even funny the first time."

"I went to a feminist picnic last weekend... No one made any sandwiches."