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Joke of the Day
"I love going climbing with my friends... They never fail to let me down."
Next Joke
"I feel there's still hope for this world every time my computer's spellcheck doesn't recognize Kardashian."
"Ever since the news came out about Samsung.... Their phones have been blowing up."
"(climbing out of my coffin) I'm sure you all have a lot of questions, but firstly the reason I faked my death is- [nobody is at my funeral]"
"I wanted to invest in Lumber Liquidators... But wood stock hasn't been viable sincs the 60s."
"Throughout the summer Trump's campaign was on the gas pedal... But now they have turned on Cruz control."
"I would pay double my Netflix subscription if Stranger Things Season 2 brought back Barb from a parallel universe who then confesses her love for Nancy. You? What would you do for a clone dyke Barb?"
"Dark humor is like a child with cancer... It never gets old"
"Why do babies make bad mechanics? They have poorly developed motor skills."
"Commas are important. They are the difference between: You suck, Dick! and You suck dick!"