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Joke of the Day

"I can't feel my face when I'm with you, but I love it. Doctor: This is your third Botox appointment. That wasn't even funny the first time."

"If I'm introduced to a proctologist at a party ... ... do I shake his hand?"

"My friend keeps saying ""cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water"" I hope he means well..."

"I remember when my grad father first got his pace maker Every time he would go to use the microwave he would piss his pants and forget who he was for about an half an hour or so."

"My local baseball team can't sell beer at the stadium anymore... They lost the opener! [wah wah](http://www.sadtrombone.com/)"

"My friend asked me to take a look at something on r/jokes I replied, ""No thanks, I already reddit."""

"My greatest fear is having a star athlete injure himself and having the coach look into the crowd and point at me to take his place"

"why aren't there any Mexican athletes? Because all the Mexicans who can run, swim or jump are already in the USA."

"Two paedophiles are waiting at a bus stop when an 8 year old girl walks past... One says to the other, ""I bet she was a looker in her day."""

"What does an empathetic kleptomaniac do in an argument? He puts himself in the other person's shoes and then walks away."