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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, while the other is a little lighter."

"Hey girl, do you ever go to the gym? 'Cause if you don't we probably won't work out."

"Having kids has taught me that their ears are for decorative purposes only."

"what qualifies a woman in hollywood for disability benefits? ""A"" cup"

"What is yellow and goes bzzzzzz? An electric banana."

"Of course I can tweet, talk on the phone, eat a hamburger, and apply my lipstick. I'm only driving, you know."

"Cleavage is the original Jedi Mind Trick."

"What do you call three brothers taking acid together? Triplets"

"7: ""Mama, if someone licked the treadmill, would that someone get sick?"" Me: ""Are you the someone?"" 7: ""Maybe"" Holy hell."

"What do you call someone without a Liver? Deader."