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Joke of the Day

"what qualifies a woman in hollywood for disability benefits? ""A"" cup"

"An exchange in Frasier Niles: she was eerily calm. She just stood there rubbing her ocelot. Martin: you know they got a cream for that"

"Amputees will not find this joke funny: Actually, I'm going to cut this joke short."

"'Please, I need this', I whisper as I try to steal a baby goat from the petting zoo."

"I have the heart of a lion And a lifetime ban from the local zoo"

"I joke a lot, but in reality nothing can stop me from reaching my goals, except for shiny distractions or moderate discomfort."

"What happens when you put a condom inside another condom? Conception"

"Why can't you play hide and go seek with a Pokemon? Because he'll peek-at-chu!"

"I have a sister named Virginia... We called her Virgin for short, but not for long!"

"My wife asked me to stop singing Wonderwall... ... I said maybe..."