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Joke of the Day
"Having kids has taught me that their ears are for decorative purposes only."
Next Joke
"Ashley Madison website is having problems. But instead of addressing them directly, it'll just look for a younger hotter website on the side"
"""One day, I will create a global business-oriented social networking service"" - Abraham LinkedIn"
"'Please, I need this', I whisper as I try to steal a baby goat from the petting zoo."
"You've wasted your time explaining sex to me I still don't get it."
"At least I now know why the lions leave the plains before the end of summer. Because the Pride goeth before the Fall."
"Do you know how many feminists it takes to change a light bulb? One, you asshole."
"I got fired from my office job for misunderstanding the meaning of 3 hole punch."
"I love raking all the leaves in my yard into a big pile then running really fast and jumping to conclusions when people don't text me back."
"What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man? His wife is good at picking out clothes."