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Joke of the Day
"I don't really like abortion jokes. The delivery is always sloppy."
Next Joke
"90 years from now, they'll sing songs about the courage and bravery you displayed during the great ""Instagram Selling Your Photos"" skirmish."
"Why did I need to bring a shovel on my first date? Clearly the chloroform wasn't enough."
"If someone is choking the best thing to do is ask them if they're okay repeatedly then if that fails give a concerned look until resolved."
"How many mm^3 of dirt is there in a hole 1m x 1m x 1m? There is no dirt in the hole!"
"What do you call a sex toy bought at IKEA? A ""One Night Stand"""
"No relationship is perfect so you might as well pick the perfect person you want to go through hell with"
"Police officer: Have you had anything to drink? Me:No PO:Ok, blow into here Me:But there are no candles PO:Ma'am please get out of the car"
"Never judge a man 'till you've driven a mile with his wife."
"I have the heart of a saint And a lifetime ban from Mother Teresa's grave."