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Joke of the Day

"Police officer: Have you had anything to drink? Me:No PO:Ok, blow into here Me:But there are no candles PO:Ma'am please get out of the car"

"What function puts you in the danger zone The LOG^^^gins function!"

"So I Saw A Fireman Smoking Outside The Station and I thought, 'I wonder how many cigarettes are started by fires?'"

"Even though it's just a one letter change the difference between ""Wish you were here"" and ""Wish you were her"" is tremendous"

"My professor just said that the particle of light is like a bullet... The black objects absorb more."

"""Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"" -a very curious play goer."

"I like my coffee like I like my women..... Ground up and stuck in the freezer."

"Did you guys hear about the new porno about the Gorilla? It's called Harambe's Out for Dicks"

"when I see a Facebook relationship status 'it's complicated' I imagine love through wormholes over tens of thousands of years, alien biology"

"Knock knock! Who's there? Hillary Clinton. Hillary Clinton who? ...Who's asking?"